Concerned, I am SO glad your brought up adoption! (I haven't read subsequent posts, I jumped right down to respond. I apologize if I end up repeating something that's been discussed in the interim.)
Let's put aside transracialism for a moment and compare adoption to transgender, if you'll indulge me. This is exactly where, I contend, that the trans community jumped the shark, so to speak. This is where they began to lose the support of many otherwise supportive liberals/Democrats.
No mother or father who adopts a child ever claims that the adopted child is their bio child. They love, protect, care for the child as if it was a bio child, hell, maybe even more, the FEEL like the child is theirs, and the child IS theirs, but it would be a falsehood, and a damn big one, to try and pass off an adopted child as a bio child. So much so, that when that does occur, however rarely, it's considered a grievous act committed by the lying adoptive parent/s. An act of betrayal.
Firstly, because we know it's not true. An adopted child probably looks different. Maybe thinks a little different. Walks a little different. And no amount of love, even pure parental love, can turn an adopted child brown eyes into a bio child's blue. Genes can't be changed. It's just not possible. Again, this doesn't mean the child is loved any less! Nor should an adopted child feel less than. Not by any means. Ever. But the adopted child should know that he or she is, in fact, adopted.
Why? Why don't we just lie to the adopted kid? Who cares, right? Who gets hurt by it? Why make the child feel anymore "other" than need be? A child is a child and the parents are the parents. Why label the child as adopted?
Well, of course, we don't lie about this because we know that it's important for the adopted child to be fully aware they have different genetic markers and genetic realities than their adopted parents. These realities might come into play at some point, for a myriad of health reasons, mental and physical, as the child ages.
Therefore, the consequence of knowing that one is adopted is larger than just the idea of a "truth" itself. The feelings of the adopted child that aren't always paramount. Feelings are great and should be a big deal; but so is biological honesty. In fact, that might just be life or death!
A transgender person, in many ways, is asking society to treat him/her as "adopted" by a sex in which they were not born into. This seems reasonable. This is reasonable! She (or he) wants to be treated with all the bells and whistles a woman (or man) "gets". Great! No issues there for most common sense/non fear based people. Maybe it's hard to fully understand or grasp by us non trans, but it seems like a live and let live sort of thing.
But now it seems the trans community wants to be seen exactly as a bio woman. No difference. A transwoman is a woman. Not LIKE a woman. IS a woman. And because of that relatively simple little change in tactic? It's upended, at least for me, the whole movement.
Why? Because it's a lie. It's a clear lie. Transwomen are transwomen - which is fucking rad! We can treat them like a woman in just about every way possible. But a transwoman is not a woman. Like an adopted child is not a bio child. But in the case of adoption? We don't fight reality! In fact, if an adopted child thinks they are a a bio child, for whatever reason? It usually causes instant dissonance to those who know the truth. Eventually, the truth comes out. However, when a transwoman claims she's a woman, it also causes dissonance. But expressing that is transphobic. Which feels like lunacy!
That's the difference between adoption and transgenderism. One is treated honestly. One isn't.
At least, it's my take.
