Man: [in a flashback scene, responding to a personal ad of Dorothy's that Rose put in the newspaper] Dorothy?
Dorothy: Have we met?
Man: Not yet. I'm here because of your ad in the paper, "Willing to do anything - $8 an hour, no job too big or small."
Dorothy: Yes, yes, of course, please come in. I'm sorry, I didn't expect people to actually come here, I just figured, you know, that I would be going to them.
Man: That's the way it'll work in the future, when my video camera gets back from the shop.
Dorothy: So tell me, what kind of work is it that you need done, Mr.---
Man: Toto. Dorothy: ---Mr. Toto?
Man: Oh, no "Mr.," just "Toto." You're Dorothy, and I'm Toto. At least for the next eight dollars.
Rose: Dorothy, you owe me an apology; your ad's right here. [points to newspaper]
Dorothy: Oh Rose, this is the Personals column!
Rose: So what?
Dorothy: So what? You put an ad in the personals column that said I will do anything for eight dollars an hour?! Right under an ad that reads, "History professor seeking non-smoking Oriental woman who is into Wesson Oil and bears a resemblance to Florence Henderson."
Man: Is that signed "Doug"?
Dorothy: Yes.
Man: I know him; he's a sick man.
Dorothy: [showing her visitor to the door] I'm terribly sorry for this mixup; goodbye.
[The man leaves, and a priest then walks up to the open door]
Dorothy: Oh my GOD, I don't believe this! I'm going to call the cops if you don't get out of here right away, you PERVERT!
Sophia: [walks up carrying a large box and hands it to the bewildered-looking priest] Hi, Father Rossi! Here's the canned goods for the needy!
Dorothy: [mortified] Oh, no... [to Father Rossi] I'm terribly sorry. I promise that I will say Hail Marys until Madonna has a hit movie.
[Another man enters through the open door after the priest leaves and walks up to Rose]
Man #2: [to Rose] Hi! Here's my eight dollars! Let's get started, Dorothy!
Rose: Oh, I'm not Dorothy; she is.
Man #2: [to Dorothy] I'll give you four dollars. Let's get started.
Dorothy: How would you like your rear end kicked across the street?!!
Man #2: Oh, great! Here's the other four dollars!
[Dorothy throws Man #2 out of the house. Enter Blanche]
Blanche: Girls! Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front! They want to know how many drachma there are in eight dollars!
